{"title":"FERAL \u0026 FREAKY","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the days you aren't functioning as a civilized member of society and are instead operating entirely on caffeine, panic, and survival instincts. If you feel a deep spiritual connection to a screaming raccoon guarding a dumpster or an opossum fighting a copy machine, congratulations—you have found your people. Wear these loud graphics as a public warning label that you are doing your best, but your best is highly volatile. \u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"raccoon-feral-but-trying-my-best-tie-dye-t-shirt","title":"Raccoon “Feral but Trying My Best” Tie-Dye T-Shirt","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n \u003cthead\u003e\n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \u003c\/thead\u003e\n \u003ctbody\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Body Length at Back, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 29.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 31.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 32.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 33.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 34.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Chest, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 24.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 26.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Sleeve Length from Center Back, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 16.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 17.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 19.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 21.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n \u003c\/table\u003e\n \n \n A little rebellious, a little ridiculous, and fully unapologetic. This crystal tie-dye tee features a vivid neon-green wash and a punk-inspired raccoon graphic with the message “Feral But Trying My Best.” It captures the charming chaos of getting through the day with humor intact—an easygoing favorite for raccoon lovers, alternative style fans, and anyone whose personal motto is honest, scrappy, and slightly feral. Made from soft 100% cotton with a classic crewneck, short sleeves, and a comfortable regular fit, it’s ready for casual weekends, concerts, errands, and everyday mischief. The tear-away label keeps the inside comfortable, while the rib-knit collar and back neck tape add lasting structure.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Soft 5.4-ounce, 100% cotton construction\u003cbr\u003e- Crystal tie-dye finish in a vivid neon-green colorway\u003cbr\u003e- Classic crewneck with rib-knit collar\u003cbr\u003e- Comfortable regular fit with short sleeves\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label and back neck tape for added comfort\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Do not tumble dry\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat, do not iron on print\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":68160740262209,"sku":"28816407110318315185","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160740294977,"sku":"32033486357872138514","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Grey","offer_id":68160740327745,"sku":"12761654495199872134","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68160740360513,"sku":"19070596230417400783","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Purple","offer_id":68160740393281,"sku":"22684420982213396128","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":68160740426049,"sku":"33032973612206568981","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160740458817,"sku":"31429175942118341777","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Grey","offer_id":68160740491585,"sku":"66179167448097020133","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68160740524353,"sku":"39734501194371544573","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Purple","offer_id":68160740557121,"sku":"12682755236717775142","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":68160740589889,"sku":"36464518404606135342","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160740622657,"sku":"23727621404154956226","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Grey","offer_id":68160740655425,"sku":"28741156268523095845","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68160740688193,"sku":"25405084826328244385","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Purple","offer_id":68160740720961,"sku":"33973068870079464183","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":68160740753729,"sku":"66697620855555826528","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160740786497,"sku":"19531883578978950428","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68160740819265,"sku":"15021278212032788929","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68160740852033,"sku":"10012708254510716478","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68160740884801,"sku":"30418270448544532609","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":68160740917569,"sku":"26018293156536523074","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160740950337,"sku":"32124228955290166187","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68160740983105,"sku":"11194967171760185574","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68160741015873,"sku":"29748424598360180169","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68160741048641,"sku":"10918115152881757633","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":68160741081409,"sku":"66789139545293183310","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160741114177,"sku":"14025190867437196915","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68160741146945,"sku":"54863778402148589165","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68160741179713,"sku":"14352979204034622910","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68160741212481,"sku":"27554245042799755595","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":68160741245249,"sku":"88485615708721783467","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160741278017,"sku":"31802417072285548974","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68160741310785,"sku":"21612219511880406162","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68160741343553,"sku":"17856962690061252363","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68160741376321,"sku":"14773781673619689350","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1007\/9541\/6897\/files\/1_3bcac1fb-58b9-461d-88e6-7f546d1262f4.png?v=1793825668"},{"product_id":"mentally-on-airplane-mode-tie-dye-t-shirt","title":"The \"Mentally on Airplane Mode\" Y2K Opossum Tee","description":"\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eM\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eL\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eXL\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; font-weight: 500;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e \u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003eBody Length at Back, in\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e29.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e31.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e32.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e33.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e34.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003eChest, in\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e18.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e20.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e22.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e24.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e26.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e28.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e30.00\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003eSleeve Length from Center Back, in\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e16.75\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e17.75\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e18.75\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e19.75\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e20.75\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e21.75\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\" style=\"word-break: break-word; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e22.75\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eRemember the early 2000s? When cellular devices had physical buttons, your entire identity was tied to a plastic CD binder, and your brain wasn’t constantly bombarded by 47 different group chats? This shirt is for anyone who wants to go back there. Permanently.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eMeet your new mascot for ultimate boundary-setting: a deeply detached, mall-goth \u003cstrong\u003eopossum\u003c\/strong\u003e who has officially checked out of reality. Dressed in striped arm warmers, baggy cargo pants, and oversized headphones, this little creature is sitting amidst a pile of scratched CDs, completely ignoring a ringing flip phone. Complete with jagged, angsty typography reading \u003cstrong\u003e\"MENTALLY ON AIRPLANE MODE,\"\u003c\/strong\u003e this design perfectly captures the glorious feeling of absolute disassociation from modern obligations.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s got that authentic, late-90s\/early-2000s alternative aesthetic that screams, \u003cem\u003e\"Do not text me, do not call me, I am currently out of service.\"\u003c\/em\u003e Slip it on, turn your actual phone off, and let the world know your signal has officially dropped. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA soft crystal tie-dye T-Shirt featuring a cozy, slightly mischievous illustration of a bundled-up opossum with the words “Mentally on Airplane Mode.” \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% cotton, 5.4-ounce fabric for a soft, natural feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Crystal tie-dye design in a cool gray-and-white pattern\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Regular fit with short sleeves for casual everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Classic crewneck with rib knit collar and back neck tape\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tear-away label for a smooth, scratch-free feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not tumble dry\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat, do not iron on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":68160866615617,"sku":"20656260282116651197","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160866648385,"sku":"21952884554576665432","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Grey","offer_id":68160866681153,"sku":"16022546250443568560","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Purple","offer_id":68160866713921,"sku":"14759185159963817923","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sky Blue","offer_id":68160866746689,"sku":"13178194779344179596","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":68160866779457,"sku":"28733796734517326883","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160866812225,"sku":"14150063350654613478","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Grey","offer_id":68160866844993,"sku":"18224756921371524883","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Purple","offer_id":68160866877761,"sku":"82094012961455861016","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sky Blue","offer_id":68160866910529,"sku":"33794706103996331578","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":68160866943297,"sku":"24795844994290724857","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160866976065,"sku":"24814924743198993501","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Grey","offer_id":68160867008833,"sku":"29272314241273617538","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Purple","offer_id":68160867041601,"sku":"28330868076744856235","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sky Blue","offer_id":68160867074369,"sku":"17133603370939345318","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":68160867107137,"sku":"26189427521026752493","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160867139905,"sku":"13496145950596078931","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68160867172673,"sku":"29190531744118608919","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68160867205441,"sku":"30232435877858985572","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sky Blue","offer_id":68160867238209,"sku":"24219953103648809362","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":68160867270977,"sku":"21023727479064904528","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160867303745,"sku":"25144321846993825915","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68160867336513,"sku":"23267596760138162306","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68160867369281,"sku":"18642816378257586194","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sky Blue","offer_id":68160867402049,"sku":"99104970475185054945","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":68160867434817,"sku":"26293795999936021567","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160867467585,"sku":"18691779389252244687","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68160867500353,"sku":"30809674820658063933","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68160867533121,"sku":"22120528463306465855","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sky Blue","offer_id":68160867565889,"sku":"22833957956424173936","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":68160867598657,"sku":"23693938845597460381","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68160867631425,"sku":"13385346352053599286","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68160867664193,"sku":"63808134455133510478","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68160867696961,"sku":"24335560821175038149","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Sky Blue","offer_id":68160867729729,"sku":"20052240321872273857","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1007\/9541\/6897\/files\/3_f67252a3-3efd-4a98-aa13-f9da95055e82.png?v=1793825455"},{"product_id":"friday-s-garbage-day-raccoon-graphic-tie-dye-t-shirt","title":"Friday’s Garbage Day Raccoon Graphic Tie-Dye T-Shirt","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n \u003cthead\u003e\n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \u003c\/thead\u003e\n \u003ctbody\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Body Length at Back, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 29.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 31.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 32.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 33.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 34.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Chest, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 24.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 26.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Sleeve Length from Center Back, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 16.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 17.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 19.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 21.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n \u003c\/table\u003e\n A little mischief, a little woodland charm. This crystal tie-dye tee features a curious crew of raccoons perched above the message “’Cause Friday’s Garbage Day”—a playful nod to late-night scavenging, neighborhood humor, and anyone who appreciates nature’s clever troublemakers. The cool blue-gray pattern gives it an easygoing, outdoorsy feel, while the relaxed everyday shape makes it a natural choice for casual Fridays, camping trips, wildlife walks, or laid-back weekends. Made from soft 100% cotton with a classic crewneck, short sleeves, and a tear-away label, it’s comfortable enough to wear wherever the raccoon patrol is headed next.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton, 5.4-ounce fabric for a soft, natural feel\u003cbr\u003e- Regular fit for comfortable everyday wear\u003cbr\u003e- Classic crewneck with rib knit collar\u003cbr\u003e- Short-sleeve design with back neck tape\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label for a smooth, scratch-free feel\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Do not tumble dry\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat, do not iron on print\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":68161072890177,"sku":"91845674605040252018","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Grey","offer_id":68161072922945,"sku":"27503812877845667869","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":68161072955713,"sku":"33191711481175275537","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Grey","offer_id":68161072988481,"sku":"13782251860501854132","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":68161073021249,"sku":"13390768284197357721","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Grey","offer_id":68161073054017,"sku":"27159435087857338040","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161073086785,"sku":"55778148903986212247","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161073119553,"sku":"14564524316078197449","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161073152321,"sku":"19917039522032525704","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161073185089,"sku":"13290824903450754141","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161073217857,"sku":"25728748502779482308","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161073250625,"sku":"27033403803382479867","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161073283393,"sku":"11334187385318952330","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161073316161,"sku":"42862827242387522768","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1007\/9541\/6897\/files\/6_bfc76f98-39b0-486d-b5cd-1110fa09cf9a.png?v=1793825329"},{"product_id":"the-professionally-unsupervised-retro-opossum-tee","title":"The \"Professionally Unsupervised\" Retro Opossum Tee","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n \u003cthead\u003e\n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \u003c\/thead\u003e\n \u003ctbody\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Body Length at Back, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 29.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 31.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 32.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 33.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 34.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Chest, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 24.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 26.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Sleeve Length from Center Back, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 16.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 17.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 19.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 21.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n \u003c\/table\u003e\n \u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eA little chaos, a lot of character. This crystal tie-dye tee features a playful opossum graphic with the words “Professionally Unsupervised”—a carefree sense of humor and enough personality to start a conversation. Welcome to the corporate jungle, where the baseline expectation is that you act like a civilized adult, and the reality is... well, this. Meet your new spirit animal: a severely caffeinated \u003cstrong\u003eopossum\u003c\/strong\u003e who has clearly won a bitter battle against a 1990s photocopier and is now ruling over a kingdom of paper jams and expired sticky notes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 700; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eFeaturing bold, arched vintage typography reading \u003cstrong\u003e\"PROFESSIONALLY UNSUPERVISED,\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003ethis tee perfectly encapsulates that beautiful, chaotic sweet spot of your workday where management leaves the room and survival instincts take over. It’s got that classic, heavy-metal-meets-office-satire aesthetic that screams, \u003cem\u003e\"I have a 401k but I also thrive in chaos.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eWhether you’re actually left to your own devices at a desk job, working from home in your sweatpants, or just trying to survive another meeting that definitely could have been an email, this shirt does the talking so your exhausted eyes don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% cotton, 5.4-ounce fabric with a soft, natural feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Crystal tie-dye pattern in blue, green, and charcoal tones\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Regular fit with short sleeves for casual everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Classic crewneck with rib knit collar and back neck tape\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tear-away label for a smooth, scratch-free feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not tumble dry\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat, do not iron on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":68161261896001,"sku":"16512973239989936192","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Grey","offer_id":68161261928769,"sku":"25689516057335149232","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Planet Earth Colorburst","offer_id":68161261961537,"sku":"84664103336153521449","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":68161261994305,"sku":"24812546185918586190","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Grey","offer_id":68161262027073,"sku":"89643430085050128664","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Planet Earth Colorburst","offer_id":68161262059841,"sku":"33963230680504225777","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":68161262092609,"sku":"10000711627757487756","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Grey","offer_id":68161262125377,"sku":"33999216609907338416","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Planet Earth Colorburst","offer_id":68161262158145,"sku":"25383705329966603274","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161262190913,"sku":"33290252863000923538","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161262223681,"sku":"54658710144184954982","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Planet Earth Colorburst","offer_id":68161262256449,"sku":"11145980982831101443","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161262289217,"sku":"21739246480220242315","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161262321985,"sku":"15393451564372286231","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Planet Earth Colorburst","offer_id":68161262354753,"sku":"80804300139839672582","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161262387521,"sku":"20629271754162401232","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161262420289,"sku":"90832535762048730695","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Planet Earth Colorburst","offer_id":68161262453057,"sku":"18950194632996723387","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161262485825,"sku":"23744910498079028525","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161262518593,"sku":"21636848557671407307","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Planet Earth Colorburst","offer_id":68161262551361,"sku":"10221542192876891750","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1007\/9541\/6897\/files\/10.png?v=1793825049"},{"product_id":"the-feral-but-trying-my-best-neon-punk-raccoon-tee","title":"The \"Feral, But Trying My Best\" Neon Punk Raccoon Tee","description":"\u003ctable id=\"size-guide\" style=\"min-width:360px;\"\u003e\n \u003cthead\u003e\n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"padding:10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"color:#000000;font-weight:500;text-align:left;font-size:15px;padding:10px;\"\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \u003c\/thead\u003e\n \u003ctbody\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Body Length at Back, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 29.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 31.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 32.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 33.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 34.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Chest, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 24.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 26.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 28.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 30.00 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003ctr\u003e\n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n Sleeve Length from Center Back, in\n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 16.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 17.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 18.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 19.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 20.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 21.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003ctd style=\"padding:10px;color:#525252;font-size:15px;border-top:1px solid #ededed;word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\n 22.75 \n \u003c\/td\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tr\u003e\n \n \u003c\/tbody\u003e\n \u003c\/table\u003e\n \u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eLet’s be honest. Some days you’re a well-adjusted member of society, and other days you’re just a highly reactive, trash-dwelling mammal operating entirely on caffeine and pure instinct. This shirt is for the latter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eMeet your new spirit animal: a completely unhinged raccoon screeching in glorious, radioactive shades of neon green and hot pink. Complete with an anarchy symbol, lightning bolts, and aggressive, dripping stenciled typography that reads \u003cstrong\u003e\"FERAL, BUT TRYING MY BEST,\"\u003c\/strong\u003e this design beautifully captures the internal struggle of attempting to function normally when you are actually one minor inconvenience away from chewing through electrical wiring.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400; font-size: 16px;\"\u003eIt’s got that raw, late-80s neon punk aesthetic and heavy thrash-rock album cover vibe that tells the world, \u003cem\u003e\"Yes, I am a disaster, but at least I am putting in a token amount of effort.\"\u003c\/em\u003e Toss it on when you need to warn the public that you are doing your best, but your best looks a lot like a raccoon defending a dumpster.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% cotton, 5.4-ounce fabric with a soft, natural feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Bright crystal tie-dye design with a playful raccoon graphic\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Classic crewneck with rib knit collar and back neck tape\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Regular fit with short sleeves for comfortable everyday wear\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tear-away label for a smooth, scratch-free feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), gentle cycle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not tumble dry\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat, do not iron on print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":68161527382337,"sku":"47333662437448942560","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68161527415105,"sku":"15951162894020837507","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Grey","offer_id":68161527447873,"sku":"14591266292879519051","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68161527480641,"sku":"28928860879872708463","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Purple","offer_id":68161527513409,"sku":"60900661181770492941","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":68161527546177,"sku":"24576129718110038342","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68161527578945,"sku":"20914231958023430080","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Grey","offer_id":68161527611713,"sku":"37931639336058402328","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68161527644481,"sku":"20685439198051050650","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Purple","offer_id":68161527677249,"sku":"91587299037742636057","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":68161527710017,"sku":"17572907251260892929","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68161527742785,"sku":"30947079668381461982","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Grey","offer_id":68161527775553,"sku":"11892362076853688836","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68161527808321,"sku":"31266484990545252599","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Purple","offer_id":68161527841089,"sku":"25282772493613230405","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161527873857,"sku":"28043854293472123967","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68161527906625,"sku":"11859747572063810898","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161527939393,"sku":"14031959382894679904","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68161527972161,"sku":"27965381817325768104","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68161528004929,"sku":"11321666807095124264","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161528037697,"sku":"27426114402589126513","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68161528070465,"sku":"26564102647255279232","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161528103233,"sku":"33726205441227149003","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68161528136001,"sku":"16615120200136423709","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68161528168769,"sku":"32458389846251059526","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161528201537,"sku":"65176158348930313215","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68161528234305,"sku":"17357043996135394275","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161528267073,"sku":"49624667799767585004","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68161528299841,"sku":"21837247107870229523","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68161528332609,"sku":"31240032283915314791","price":44.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":68161528365377,"sku":"14269322656766161661","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Bright Pink","offer_id":68161528398145,"sku":"22986921220762180300","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Grey","offer_id":68161528430913,"sku":"84486631047776344968","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Lemon Lime","offer_id":68161528463681,"sku":"25911686584690463314","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Purple","offer_id":68161528496449,"sku":"50146380709390897889","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1007\/9541\/6897\/files\/Untitled_design.png?v=1793824654"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1007\/9541\/6897\/collections\/4_051ccb4d-0778-4724-bbfa-a46947f2881b.png?v=1794455332","url":"https:\/\/7bqhv0-p1.myshopify.com\/collections\/feral.oembed","provider":"Yesterday-ish","version":"1.0","type":"link"}